The beecat is a cunning and stealthy creature that hails from the Northern lands of Scandinavia. Many people are perplexed by the beecat, and so they should be. The unassuming beecat is a multi-purpose animal. The tale of how they came to be is a sad and epic tale, and one that would be best told as an Icelandic Saga. But, alas, I have neither the time nor the storage space to tell the story in full.


We should start with a brief history lesson. The original habitat of the beecat is the forests of Finland, where wild beecats climbed the tall pine to pounce on unsuspecting badgers (their main food source). This trait of climbing and flying can still be seen today, as the beecats like to roost on top of wardrobes (more on this later). All was good with the beecat race for a time, until a new power arose in Sweden. This evil could not be concealed by the power of the beecats – it was known, and will be known until the end of time, as the corporation of .

The corporation sent their finest hunter across the border into Finland, a known only as ‘Rivig' – it is from him that the beecats lost their original name and were hence forth called Rivig, named after the man who single handedly caught beecats (with a net – like the kind you catch butterflies with, but much bigger), and then stuffed them by hand.


After driving the wild beecats to extinction, the corporation of IKEA decided to insult the memory of these wondrous creatures by selling them across as “bolster cushions” and even produced children's cups depicting the beecats national dress – orange jumpers. But there are some of who know more about the creature and its ways, and will never forget the plight of the beecats.

Today, the last remaining beecats can be found in a few IKEA stores, or in the bedrooms and kitchens of various beecat lovers across the country. None who see the stuffed beecat are not moved by its simple elegance and uber tongue.

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They can fly. Oh yes they can fly. Even without proper wings, the beecat is a formidable weapon when in the hands of someone who can grasp the basics of flight-by-empty-feet. This little-known art has developed from watching wild beecats glide down from Scandinavian pines onto prey (badgers, as mentioned earlier).


A quite interesting fact about the beecat is its ability to swim. They are, after all, machine washable. Watching the beecat spin round on rinse and clean the front of the machine with it's uber tongue is truly a sight to be seen.