Finally tonight, I want to talk about a guy called Pavlov, who was Eastern European, I think Russian, and did the famous experiment, “Pavlov's Dog.” You probably heard of, ring bells and dogs eating food, response times, Pavlovian kind of response, it's all about ice-cream and… And he wrote these experiments.
“Day One – Pavlov's Dog – Rang bell, dog ate food, very excited…” He's become Welsh! (Welsh accent) “Very excited… terribly excited here in Russia. Day Two – been well-accepted here in Russia… changed my name from Evans to Pavlov. I'm now called Gareth Pavlov… and fitting in well. Day two – rang bell, dog ate two loads of food, very excited. Day Three, right? (big grin, trying hard not to laugh) Day Three – rang three bells, dog ate a whole bunch of food and my leg, too. Very excited, win Nobel Dog Prize for cats.”
So he did this, he won the prize… Nobel, whatever he won, and Pavlov's dog, we all know that, but you never heard his cat results, did you? You probably thought he was finished!
“Pavlov's Cat Results – Day One – rang bell… cat fucked off. Damn… Day Two – rang bell, cat went and answered dog. Day Three – rang bell, cat said he'd eaten earlier. Day Four – went to ring bell on day four, but cat had stolen batteries. Final day – Day Five – went to ring bell with new batteries, but cat put his paw on bell, so it only made a ‘thunk!' noise. Then cat rang his own bell! I ate food…”Eddie Izzard